Collateral Damage
by EvanescoDarkness
Summary: With the arrival of the second war, Remus Lupin learns first hand the meaning of Collateral Damage. AU, originally written preHBP. Revision complete! New chapter!
1. Threat

Curses were flying everywhere; the house was being lit-up by wand sparks and hexes of devastating degree. Remus fought with himself over what course of action he should take.

Surveying the scene, his mind was made up for him, and with his wand at the ready he jumped into the fray. As the curses flew around him, he did his best to avoid the damaging curses that were streaking past, not wanting to find out what the end result would be. As he spun around, he pointed his wand at his enemy, only to feel a spell hit him in the back. Instantly, everything went black.

-

**Eight Months Prior**

The door to a classroom opened, and various witches and wizards flooded into the hallway. The graying hair and wrinkles gave away the fact that they were too old to be studying for their N.E.W.T.S., yet they all wore an expression of exhaustion on their faces.

It had been yet another long meeting for the Order of the Phoenix, as Dumbledore had each member brief the others on their missions. The enemy had now made themselves more public. Many of these reports detailed their efforts of stopping one of the many small but new Death Eater attacks. Tonks was briefing everyone on her mission in Knockturn Alley. She would pose under a disguise and try to eavesdrop on the important conversations of unsavory folk. This, combined with any official information that Kingsley Shacklebolt managed to acquire in the Auror department, proved to be extremely advantageous. Shacklebolt knew of all the disappearances, as well as the records of the magical creatures that have depleted numbers. He was also aware of the magical ingredients that were being stolen from warehouses. It appeared that the Death Eaters were trying to gather a stockade of materials for potions, charmed items, and magical beasts. These meetings were to try and keep track of the Death Eaters so the Order could plan for what they believed to be a large scale attack. At the same time, the Order was trying to determine which magical groups would be targeted by Voldemort for an alliance.

Although the meetings are extremely important, Remus Lupin found it especially tedious as he had only just recovered from the latest full moon, and he had no mission to de-brief. He stayed in the classroom as he wanted to speak to Dumbledore. It was the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom, returned to the way it used to look before Professor Umbridge. Remus was saddened by the thought of not teaching here once again. Being back in Hogwarts did not improve his mood. This was not the time to be feeling sorry for himself, however. The Order needed him, or so he thought. After the death of his best friend, Sirius Black, Remus had not been given an assignment. He did not know what plan Dumbledore had in store for him; all he knew was that when he questioned the Headmaster, his responses were vague and unclear. Now Remus was alone with Dumbledore, and hoping to get some answers.

"All in good time, Remus, all in good time," Dumbledore said, with a sparkle in his eye. He was gathering up some parchment that had details of the potion ingredients that the Death Eaters were after. He stopped and looked at Remus earnestly, "When the time comes you will wish for these days again."

Remus looked at the Headmaster to protest, but only met the sad eyes of a wizard who knew the cost of war. Remus nodded and wished the older wizard a "Good night." He walked silently out of the room, looking straight ahead. The only sound was his brisk foot steps on the stone floor. He opened the heavy oak door and then strode off down the hallway.

Although Grimmauld Place was unplottable, Bellatrix Lestrange knew of it's location after Sirius Black fell through the veil, as Kreacher came into her possession. Hogwarts was one of the few safe places left for the Order to stay. Members of the Order were being housed there until a new headquarters was found. There was a secret passageway behind a tapestry near the dungeons and staff's quarters. Along the long and winding tunnel there was a small arched door. The door opened up into a large, circular, common room, decorated with various pieces of furniture, which also formed a circle, none of which matched. Along the wall were portraits and paintings, as well as heavy oak doors, carved with ancient runes and scenes of medieval witches and wizards practicing their craft, being persecuted and the creation of Hogwarts. Each door told a different part of the story. Remus entered the common room, and made his way towards a door on the right-hand side of the room. The door featured a wizard in a forest picking magical herbs, and then the same wizard hanging the herbs in his small house. He entered quickly before collapsing on his bed.

Sleep did not come easy to him, despite his exhaustion. The meeting had left his mind racing. Now that Voldemort was exposed to the public, it was expected that there would be large attacks. Remus cringed and rubbed his eyes as he thought of their situation. Larger attacks meant more deaths, and more deaths meant more Muggle deaths. The Muggles were not involved with this war; Voldemort just saw them as collateral damage. The Order needed more time. They needed the time so they could recruit more people and plan an effective defence. The Giants were ruled out, as well as the vampires. Voldemort had already got to them. Out of all the other exiled creatures, the only ones that they could try to have any impact on were the House Elves, Centaurs, and Werewolves.

"The Werewolves," thought Lupin. "They are Voldemort's next targets. They have been so stigmatized by wizarding society that they would jump at the chance to be treated somewhat human. If they join the Death Eaters, they could wreak havoc every full moon as revenge on the Wizarding World." He felt disgusted that his disease could be used as such a weapon. Tossing over in his bed, he eventually drifted off into a light sleep.

In the morning, he rose quite early. As he walked past the infirmary Poppy scolded him when she saw his haggard appearance.

"Carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders will not help you recover from the full moon Remus, you know that." Remus smiled politely, and nodded. It was far too early to disagree with the nurse. He continued walking past infirmary as quickly has he had come and made his way to the staff room, hoping to have an early breakfast. However, there was no food prepared yet, and Remus wasn't about to disturb a house-elf this early. He decided that a walk around the grounds would kill some time, as well as clear his head. Without another thought the reluctant werewolf headed down towards the doors and made his way into the chilly spring morning sunlight.


	2. Meeting

Collateral Damage, Chapter 2, "Meeting". 

Remus returned to the hidden headquarters from his walk. The warm room with the un-matching furniture was familiar to him from his exploring with his fellow Marauders. He remembered a happier time when they stumbled upon the room while making the Marauder's Map. In those days they would sit in the main room, and gorge themselves on sweets from Honeydukes. Remus remembered the stories that Sirius told of bringing girls back to the room, enjoying their company in one of the bedrooms. These memories caused him to chuckle at himself as he was locking the door behind him; the musty smell of the room was combined with a hint of smoke from the fireplace.

He sat down at a table marked and scratched with age; he rested his hands on the table for a moment sympathizing with the inanimate object about all the wear and tear it has seen. He rubbed his eyes and ran a hand through his greying hair, cursing his inability to get a good night's sleep. Remus then pulled various maps towards him; these maps covered all of Europe, and showed the locations of known werewolf packs. Though, he had no exact mission as of yet, he knew that he would be required to act as a liaison on the Order's behalf to those werewolf packs. He scanned the maps again, this time noting the locations of those packs which had yet to pick a side. He had been wondering for sometime as to the reason why they were neutral. In a war like this one, neutrality is not an option. One's survival depends on the choices that one makes. He scanned the map looking around the locations, trying to find what assets the areas would have for Lord Voldemort. It was at this moment when Remus realized why those packs were still neutral.

"Their locations are so remote that they probably have no need to support a side, as it won't affect them," he thought. He knew that it was essential to gain the support from these packs, having more than one werewolf on Dumbledore's side may help sway the opinions of those not completely committed to Lord Voldemort.

A quick glance at the old grandfather clock located against the wall, between two of the bedrooms, told him it was just after breakfast in the Great Hall. Classes would begin soon. It was the perfect time to slip down to grab a bite to eat without causing too much of a ruckus among the student body. Sighing, he straightened out the maps and charts into their original order, and brought them back to his small, but cozy, bedroom.

Heading to the Great Hall for breakfast was not as easy to accomplish as he had planned. Despite the fact that he had only taught at Hogwarts for one year, a few of his former students, mainly Harry, Ron and Hermione, had spotted him in the halls. At the sight of seeing their favourite Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor, the Trio completely forgot about heading off to class to go and speak with him about Order of the Phoenix business. Their desire to chat probably had more to do with the fact that they were supposed to be in Potions than any desire to catch up. Although he found it amusing, he'd rather not be a reason why some of his former students missed out on their schoolwork, as well as face detention with Professor Snape. He humoured the Trio concerning information that the Order knew, not giving anything critical away. He just answered that he didn't know when his next mission would be, what it would be, and that he was not allowed to tell them any intelligence that the Order might have learned. Once he felt that he had humoured them long enough, he excused himself from their company and made his way towards the Great Hall. He was amused knowing that their curiosity was not quenched, and that they would pounce on the next available Order member for any tidbit of information.

On his way to the Great Hall, near the moving staircases, he bumped into Alastor Moody. Moody's eye was spinning in all directions, obviously picking up all the magical happenings in the school. He looked as gruff as ever, it was obvious that despite his age he was still playing an active role in the Order. Alastor was looking up through the ceiling when Remus happened upon him.

"Alastor!" Remus said with a smile. He had always been intimidated by the former Auror, and although they were equals in the Order, Remus never felt that Alastor completely trusted him. He shrugged it off, attributing it to his werewolf status.

"Remus, it's good to see you, I was on my way to find you. Dumbledore has called another meeting for tonight." Moody said, his eye now focusing on the werewolf.

"Alright, something must've come up because he didn't mention this additional meeting last night." Remus replied, his brow furrowing with concern.

"Well, you know, these meetings aren't set in stone, it often depends on what... arises," Alastor mentioned, cautiously. "He only has requested a few of the Order to be there. This isn't like a general meeting."

Remus nodded. He understood completely. If there were only a select few from the Order there then that meant that the topic was truly serious. He bid farewell to Alastor and continued his journey to the Great Hall. The enchanted ceiling showed that there was a warm spring day outside. He sat himself at a table and at breakfast, he picked at his food, wondering what was in store for the Order. He was still so very tired from the last transformation that he feared that his attention would fail him. He resolved to himself that after breakfast he would try to catch some sleep.

In his room in the afternoon Remus was having problems sleeping again. Lying on his bed in the afternoon was something Remus was not accustomed to. He tossed and turned this way and that, never becoming comfortable, and never having a restful sleep. His blankets were misarranged, pillows ended up on the floor, the night table, under legs and over his head. Eventually, he dozed off for an hour or two, and his nap was not a peaceful one. Images of the bite, Halloween 1981, the veil and looks of horror from the people who found out about his condition clouded his head. He awoke covered in a cold sweat and turned fretfully in his bed. He then realized that napping probably wasn't helping him in any way, and that he might as well get up and head off to the meeting.

Once he entered Dumbledore's office, he saw that the meeting was truly serious. There were only a few choice members of the Order present: Moody, Tonks, Kingsley and Snape. Realizing that he was late, Remus blushed and made way to the closest chair.

Dumbledore looked around the assembly and commented, "Well, now that we are all here, I will bring to your attention the reason that I have gathered you all here tonight."

"There is a family near here that needs our protection. They play an important role against Voldemort. One of the members, the father, is a known alchemist, and was in the process of creating a potion where the side effects are similar to that of the Imperius curse. It is going to be our duty to protect this man and his family, or else Death Eaters will kidnap him and use his abilities to further their plans. If that were to happen then the potion could be brewed and Voldemort would have the ability to control many without the use of a wand."

"If he was in the process of making the potion, why don't we just tell him to stop, as opposed to using us to protect him?" Kingsley Shacklebolt asked looking around his fellow Order members for support.

"If only it were that easy," Dumbledore replied. "However, the potion has already been brewed and as a result, if Mr. Berkley was to be put under the Imperius curse, he could be controlled to make the potion again."

"So, what kind of protection is needed? Guards? Fidelius?" Alastor inquired.

"Fidelius in combination with a small Guard actually. The information that is contained with Mr. Berkley is so dangerous that it is imperative that he does not fall into harms way."

"Who would be the secret-keeper and who would be members of the Guard?" asked Remus.

"I would be the secret keeper," replied Dumbledore, looking at Remus. "Tonks, Alastor and you, Remus, would be the guard."

Remus' heart jumped, he was finally allowed to go on a mission. It was not the mission that he was preparing for, but it was still an important task for the Order.

"I felt the need to have those of you here who are not going on the mission so you can be aware of what's going on. Severus, I trust you to keep us updated, as well as you Kingsley."

The two men nodded in agreement. Dumbledore bade them all "Good night," and entered his own chambers. The Order left the office letting the severity of their task sink in. If this potion were to fall in the wrong hands it would spell disaster for the side of good.

As he passed the Infirmary again, Remus noticed that the candles were still lit. Slowing his pace a bit allowed Poppy to stick her head out of the door.

"Remus, it's clear that you have been having problems sleeping. I took the liberty of having my assistant brew you a Dreamless Sleep Potion. "

Remus felt a blush rise in his cheeks at the mention of Poppy noticing his ailments. He did not want to be a burden, yet he was very grateful; he was in dire need of a good sleep.

"Thank you Poppy, I appreciate that," Remus nodded his head in a slight bow.

Poppy nodded back at him, and said "Good-night", Remus went into the secret room, and sat at his usual table. His maps and charts were right where he left them. He was about to open them when Poppy's assistant came in with the potion. She set it down on the table next to him, not making eye contact.

"Be sure to drink this all at once."

"I will, thank you." Remus looked up at her with thanks.

She nodded and left the room. Remus looked down at the potion, and then picked it up and headed towards his bedroom. Sitting on his bed, he gulped the whole thing down. "It's not like I can't look at the maps in the morning..."

After he laid down on his bed, the most restful sleep he had in a long time engulfed him.


	3. Duty

Remus awoke with a jolt, the wind that was howling outside was shrill and unrelenting. Bright streams of light were shining in through his small bedroom window. The diamond shaped panes, with their leaded bars, drew a never-ending cross pattern across the floor spilling onto the bed. Remus realized that the sun would only be reaching the bed if it was mid-morning, and if it was mid-morning then he was late to depart with the rest of the guard to the Berkley's. Hastily, he jumped out of bed, got ready, and threw a few changes of clothes into a bag for the journey. Although this was not the first mission he has been on, the butterflies in his stomach made it feel like it was his first. It was his first mission without Sirius around. It was the first mission as the last Marauder. He paused before putting on his robe, the thought of being the last Marauder in the Order enveloping his thoughts. Just as quickly as it struck him, he banished the thought from his mind, and after a few short minutes, he made his way towards Dumbledore's office.

He was walking briskly; he had slept in far too long. On his way, a swirl of white brought his attention to the Infirmary. As he took a moment to investigate, he quickly discovered the reason: the wind was sweeping through the Infirmary and a few papers were blowing around in the strong spring breeze. One such piece of paper whipped around the room and smacked Remus in the face. He peeled it off his face and headed over to Poppy to give it back to her. He had to get to Dumbledore's office to portkey to Mr. Berkley's estate. Poppy was arranging her paperwork and at the same time directing the folding of the extra bed sheets, as well as the many beds being made. Remus noticed that she appeared to be rather vexed, so he approached with caution.

"I believe this is yours," he said, handing the paper back to Poppy.

"Thank you, Remus," Poppy replied exasperated. "I opened the windows to air out this place and look what happens! It blows a gale."

"Well, the wind isn't so bad. It will keep everyone outside cool."

Poppy huffed, "There is Quidditch today, and as a result of the wind there will be more injuries."

Remus nodded, knowing better then to interrupt the nurse.

"Fine time of year this is," she grumbled. "Near the end of the year, with Voldemort out there. Fine time to be understaffed, just asking for an attack we are. What am I suppose to do if there is one?" With that Poppy flicked her wand and all the windows slammed shut.

Remus shifted on his feet uncomfortably, "Well, Poppy, I'm sure that there is enough staff here to provide a front until reinforcements come. Besides, those who are away with the Order can come back just as quickly as we left, if it came to that. And as for caring for the injured, you and you assistant will be sure to hold down the fort."

Poppy just stared at him. "My assistant has been called away on urgent business," she retorted, bitterly.

"Oh, well, I'm sure everything will be fine. We're just a Floo away. My apologies, I must leave you now or else I will be even later."

"Yes, Remus. You're right. Take care."

Remus shouted out a "Take care" as he made his way out the door and disappeared around the corner. Yet again, he was on his way to Dumbledore's office. Heading down the countless corridors and up the staircase, he remembered his days as a Professor at Hogwarts. Teaching at Hogwarts had been one of the best times in his recent memory, and yet, in the three years things had changed so much. Peter had been discovered as the traitor; Sirius had returned and then was so quickly taken away. Remus sighed; he was alone again. He was accustomed to being alone, and he could handle it very nicely. However, when he became surrounded by old memories, sentimentally would start creeping into his psyche.

At the top of the stairs he briskly walked down the corridor to the entrance guarded by a gargoyle statue.

"Acid Pop."

The statue moved aside and the staircase heading up to the Headmaster's office was revealed. Upon entering the office, Remus saw that he was not the last person to arrive. Tonks was still not present. Curious, he decided to inquire.

"Where's Tonks?"

"We decided to travel in stages, to lessen the odds of the guard being decimated in an attack," Alastor started. "So Tonks and Claire Desjardins went ahead, and I had to wait for you." Alastor raised his head, his non-magical eye looking down his nose at Remus.

Remus shifted on his feet. "Sorry about that, I took a dreamless sleep potion last night.

"It's alright," Alastor replied gruffly. "But next time you should not take any at all the night before a mission. We can't afford to have you sleeping in while there could be an attack."

At this moment Dumbledore stepped in, holding a pen in his hand. "This is the Portkey that will take you to the Berkley Manor." He handed Alastor the pen, and Remus took a hold of the other end. Dumbledore pointed his wand at the pen, muttered "Portus", and at that moment Remus felt the familiar tug behind his navel. The scene around him passed in a blur. When everything calmed down, he found himself standing in the middle of someone's study.

The walls had dark green wallpaper to them, with a rich gold pattern on them. There was a mahogany desk in front of a wall of books. To the left of the desk there was a window facing barren land. It looked like the Manor was situated on some moors. Facing the desk there were two burgundy leather chairs and on one side of the door there was a tapestry showing a family tree. Remus turned to look around the room and was greeted with a handshake from a middle-aged man with a moustache and navy robes. The weariness was etched into the wrinkles on his hollow face and around his eyes. His eyes were awash with relief, knowing that his family would be protected from the dark wizards. It appeared that many sleepless nights for this man had preceded this moment. He smiled at the newcomers, clearly grateful for their arrival.

The man reached his hand out and shook Alastor and Remus' hands warmly. "Hello, I am Edmund Berkley, thank you for agreeing to guard me and my family."

"I'm Alastor Moody," Alastor said, his magical eye taking in the room.

"Remus Lupin," as Remus returned the handshake.

"Let's get down to business," Alastor started. "I take it that Tonks and Claire are checking the grounds?'

"Yes, they said that they were only going to check the grounds close to the house before you arrived," replied Mr. Berkley. He gestured towards the open door, a a a sitting room visible on the other side of the hall.

"Excellent. We'll go and meet them outside," Alastor said, turning towards the door. They made their way through the elegant country house, beautiful yet comfortable furniture decorated every room. Children's books and toys were scattered in with the rooms' proper belongings. There were paintings of the Berkley's ancestors on the walls. They would smile and wave at the group as the passed. They entered the kitchen, a large room with a large oak table immediately on the right-hand side and the heavy wooden door on the left. Alastor made his way towards the door, commenting that Tonks and Claire must be nearly done checking the grounds.

As Alastor walked ahead of him, through the elegant country house, a realization occurred to Remus. He asked, "Who is Claire?"

"She's a healer we brought on to join the Order. To be close to the Order she works as an assistant to Poppy at Hogwarts. Didn't you know?"

"Didn't know what?" said a chipper voice. Remus and Alastor turned to see Tonks standing behind them with Claire.

"He didn't know that Kingsley got an infection from his earring and had to take it out." Alastor replied quickly.

"Why would Remus care about that?" asked Tonks walking by them checking the wards on the windows.

"Well, you see, Remus has been toying with the idea of getting his own earring, and I was just telling the lad the possible problems along the way."

"I am not!" Remus replied indigently, but with a smile he added, "I have enough scars and damage done to my body, I don't need to willingly inflict any on myself."

Alastor huffed and Tonks laughed. Claire just smiled and she checked the wards on the roof; Remus froze. He normally did not bring up his lycanthropy with strangers. His mood automatically turned and he went off to check the wards around the front of the brick country house, as well as the wards on the field nearby. He was out there for quite a while until he saw a figure walking towards him; it was Claire. She had her arm up shielding her eyes from the setting sun, and was obviously squinting in his direction. Sighing, Remus made his way towards her. They met each other halfway, and Remus stood in such a way that his shadow fell across her face, lessening her need to squint.

"Dinner's ready," she told him.

Turning to head back towards the house, Remus walked by her side, "Excellent, I'm starving. Who made it?"

"Tonks," she replied sternly.

"Mmm. Is it burnt?"

"Charred."

"Ah. I see." Having eaten Tonks' cooking, he was wondering if Mr. Berkley had any dogs he could feed his dinner to.

Seeing Remus' less than enthusiastic reaction to a charred dinner, Claire told him, "I'm kidding. Mrs. Berkley made the dinner. It's not burnt but if we don't hurry up we won't get to eat because it will be all gone."

Her pace increased and Remus sped up also. For a moment he wondered if she was trying to get away from him. As they reached the door to the dining room, she turned to look at Remus.

"I already knew you are a werewolf, so it's not like you just let it slip out."

He just looked at her as she sat down beside one of the small Berkley children. The dinner was very pleasant. The meal itself was quite filling, and although the guard was there for protection, the atmosphere at the table was warm and inviting. By the time the conversation had died down, the little girl, Lesley, had fallen asleep at the table with her head resting on Tonks' arm. The rest of the diners decided that it was time to settle in for the night. Mrs. Berkley carried Lesley off to her room, and Remus and Alastor decided to do a quick tour of the grounds before bed. Tonks and Claire turned in for the night, as they had checked the grounds earlier that day.

The grounds were difficult to walk on at night; the terrain was not as flat the further away from the Manor. Alastor and Remus were gone for sometime before they returned. They replaced the wards on the back door and headed to the bedrooms. Alastor turned into a room in the first floor before the staircase, leaving Remus to head upstairs for his slumber. When Remus reached the first door, he knocked, and heard nothing so he entered. But no sooner did he enter he saw that the room was already occupied. The moonlight shone through a space in the curtains and landed on a sleeping Tonks. Remus turned and shut the door quietly. The next door led him to a much darker room. He could make out a grand bed, with posts and hangings. He listened for a moment and he could not hear anyone in the room. He slipped his shoes off and made his way towards the bed. Suddenly he felt a warm presence near him, but before he had any more time to react, he felt the sharp prod of a wand against his throat.


	4. Tact

He could feel the energy course through the wand. He dared not move. The wand pressed into Remus's neck harder. He moved away from the wand by just an inch or two. The moonlight caught his face and the fear in his eyes. All of a sudden, the wand was pulled away from his neck and an exasperated sigh was emitted.

"Remus! You scared me half to death!"

The speaker sat up and moved away from Remus, the moonlight illuminating their face.

"More like you scared me, Claire," Remus said, letting his shoulders relax. He watched as Claire climbed back into her bed.

"I'm so sorry, I was sleeping and then I heard the door open. I didn't know it was you." Claire brought her feet up close to her and brushed her hair off her face.

"Well, I hope not. If so, I'd think we have some problems," he laughed weakly. Claire's laugh matched his. A silence followed, and they both became painfully aware of their arrangement. Remus moved away from the bed, brushing against the maroon hangings.

"I'll go and find another room. I'm sorry to have disturbed you."

"Did you want me to help you look? You can always sleep on the chaise over there," Claire said, pointing to a dark coloured chaise on the other side of the room. "If you want to, that is. I just think it would be cruel to make you wander around the house trying to find another room. It's fine with me." Claire placed her wand on the table beside her and moved back underneath the covers.

Remus looked over at the chaise, it looked long enough, and the cushions looked comfortable enough for one night's stay. If it was anyone else, he would not have second thoughts, but now he could not help but feel like he was being an intruder.

"Claire, I don't want to invade you privacy."

"There's no need to be a gentleman," she said, muffled under her pillow. "You're tired, there is space in this giant bedroom, you're bound to be cold, and it's not like we are going to have relations." She got out of the bed, walked away from him to the modest sized armoire and brought some extra covers over to him.

Remus resigned himself to logic and laziness. "I guess I'll stay, but I promise that I'll find my own room tomorrow."

"That's fine," she replied

Claire gave him a tired smile and handed him the quilted blankets. Remus took them and brought them over to the chaise and made a crude bed. Remus looked at her and moved under the covers. He hated to admit that she was right; it was really like no one was else was in the room.

The sun rose early the next morning. When Remus awoke, it felt like his head just hit the pillow. He turned over and stretched out. Suddenly, he remembered why he lying on something smaller than a single bed. He threw off the covers and looked around the sunny bedroom. The bed was empty, and Claire's dark violet nightgown was draped over the cherry wood foot-board. Remus got out of his "bed" and walked across the rug. He picked up his watch from his discarded cloak and saw that it was 6:00 a.m. After getting out of bed and dressing, he headed downstairs to the kitchen. There he was greeted with the sight of Mrs. Berkeley preparing breakfast for her brood. Four small children were settling down at the kitchen table and were eagerly awaiting their porridge. As Mrs. Berkley headed back to the oven, Remus caught sight of Claire. She had just finished dicing meticulously and was stirring the contents of a cauldron that was simmering over the fire.

"Good morning, dear," Mrs. Berkley said.

"Good morning," Remus said as he went over to the cupboard to dig up something for breakfast. "Good morning, Claire."

Claire took no notice of him, as she was adjusting the heat level on her project. Her full concentration was on this task. She did not notice that her hair was falling out of the haphazard bun she had pulled it into. Remus sat down at the table with his toast and watched her curiously. He cleared his throat and Claire spun around to look at him.

"Remus! I didn't know you were there. Good morning," she said as she turned back to the cauldron.

"Morning. What are you brewing?" he asked, taking a bite of his toast.

"The Wolfsbane potion," she replied.

Remus's eyebrows shot up. "You can make that?"

"That's what I am trying to do. The full moon is ten days away, and you'll need your potion. He is coming by later to update us, and at the same time he's going to see if I made the potion correctly. You know it's very difficult."

"Oh, I know. Severus is the only person I know who can make it."

"Well, if I make it correctly, then you'll know two people who can make it," she retorted, sweetly, giving him a quick smile over her shoulder.

"Too true, too true. Where are Tonks and Alastor?" he asked Eleanor Berkley, not wanting to disturb Claire anymore than he already has.

"Adjusting the wards by the front of the house, dear," Mrs. Berkley answered, placing bowls of porridge in front of her children. "With Professor Snape coming later, they have to make the adjustments so he can Apparate here."

Remus nodded, put the last bit of toast in his mouth and dusted the crumbs off his hands. He then took leave of Mrs. Berkley, the children, and Claire and headed up to the attic to check the wards. He was up there for some time before he saw a set of familiar black robes heading up the lane-way. He made his way down the narrow, twisting, attic stairwell, and then down the grand staircase. He met Severus in the hallway outside the kitchen, with Severus eyeing him suspiciously.

"Lupin, nice of you to be awake for once."

"I thought it would be interesting to surprise you, Severus."

"I think it's safe to say that nothing you ever do surprises me."

"Really Severus? You've pegged me as a boring individual. Now I mean, being a werewolf isn't the same as being a Death Eater, but in the end, we are both animals and I am sure that leads to some pretty exciting times."

Snape stiffened and replied icily, "Well, then I guess if you want to lead an exciting life, I will just get rid of the Wolfsbane I brought. However, despite your obvious desire to run amuck, I could not allow you to endanger more people then you already choose. So I will not rid myself of the potion just yet."

Remus cocked his head. "What about Claire's batch?"

Severus sighed, "Miss Desjardins potion stands a good chance of being worthless. In case you have not noticed, few people can get it right."

"I've noticed, and I think we should have a little faith."

"Then trust your heart away Lupin, but when it comes down to it, I am the one who will decided if Miss Desjardins will be administering your monthly potion."

By this time, they had entered the kitchen and everyone had gathered around to hear the news that Severus brought with him.

"The Death Eaters are still searching for you; however, with the Fidelius charm still intact, they have obviously come up empty. As time goes on, the search for you will become more in-depth and more fevered. I advise you to take care when outside your house, as it is the property that the Fidelius charm applies to. That is all."

Those at the table paused for a moment and then they began discussing the bits of information. The crowd in the kitchen started to scatter and spread around the house. It was at this time when Severus made his way over to Claire's cauldron to inspect the potion. Remus made his way over to it with him, curious to know the result. Claire stood near the cauldron, looking up at Severus. Remus thought he caught a glimmer of nervousness in her eyes.

Looking back at the potion, he saw that it was a pale blue and that it was emitting its famous steam; it looked like she had managed to procure the potion - until Severus passed his judgment.

All he said was, "Well, this is insufficient; a total waste of ingredients if you ask me. The colour is completely off. This is no more potent then coloured water."

He then turned away from the cauldron and spoke to Remus. "Here is your potion, as always, be sure to drink it all. There should be enough there to last you until the -"

Severus and Remus turned towards the noise that had startled both of them. They caught sight of Claire directing with her wand the now empty cauldron into the cupboard much more violently than what was necessary. She would not look at either of them as she stalked out of the room.

"Really, now, that was quite dramatic," Snape commented, dryly.

"So was your 'assessment'. You could have had a little more tact," Remus responded, with his arms crossed in front of him.

Snape's eyes narrowed. "Tact is reserved for the situations that merit it. Brewing a near-impossible potion by a witch of mediocre talents in that realm is not worthy of such tact. You may have a soft spot for feelings, Lupin, but I only care when needed." Snape stalked his way out of the kitchen, and into the entrance.

"Yes, Severus, because you've been known for your caring heart," Remus bit back.

"At least it is better then wearing my heart on my sleeve. And with that, I must depart. This chat has been going on far too long. I suggest you check where you potions protégé has disappeared too. Given her temperament, I wouldn't be surprised if she is crying into her pillow or is about to throw herself off the Widow's Walk. Good day."

With those final words, Severus Snape strode out of the house and into the lane-way, where he Disapparated.

Remus walked back to the staircase where Claire was sitting on the third step, her head resting on the banister and her hands collapsed in her lap.

"Thank you for trying, it's too bad it didn't work," Remus told her earnestly.

"Thank you, Remus," Claire sighed. "I was really hoping that I made it correctly. I don't like to get things wrong, and I wanted to help you and help our situation."

Remus looked at her curiously; "Our situation?"

"Well, yes, if I could make it then Severus wouldn't have to take the time to. Not that this is a burden, it would just make things easier." She ran one of her hands through her hair and looked up at Remus. He noticed that she had dark circles under her eyes.

"What time did you get up this morning to finish making it?"

"Four-thirty."

"Why don't you go upstairs and rest?"

"Because I promised Lesley Berkeley that I would go for a walk with her outside. The children haven't been able to go outside for any amount of time in weeks, so Moody and I figured that if a member of the Guard was with her then it would be all right, and I volunteered to take her. Care to join us? I am sure two Guard members would make it even safer," Claire asked, looking at Remus with a pleasant, yet tired smile.

"It would be a pleasure," replied Remus.


	5. Fall

Collateral Damage, Chapter 5, "The Fall".

Remus stirred early one morning to go over a few maps of the surrounding villages and the number of suspected Voldemort supporters that resided there. As he pored over the maps, drinking coffee, he did not notice movement around him. It wasn't until he raised his head that he noticed Lesley sitting right next to him, eating cornflakes. He looked at her and smiled.

"Good morning, Lesley."

Lesley looked up at him wide-eyed mid-spoonful and then looked away.

"Did you sleep well?"

She nodded, still looking at her cereal as she went back for another spoonful. Remus looked over at the kitchen counter where he could see the box of cornflakes was tipped over on the counter, spilling its contents everywhere.

"Did you get your breakfast yourself?"

Lesley turned and looked up at Remus with a big smile on her face. "Yes I did!"

"Well, I see you did a good job. Excuse me; I just need to get some sugar for my coffee."

With that, Remus stood up to fulfill his quest for the sugar. At the same time, he picked the cornflakes box up and cleaned up the carpet with a click flick of his wand. Lesley was unaware of this gesture as she was humming a song to herself as she ate her breakfast.

Remus looked out the kitchen window across the grounds. Since the day Severus came to judge Claire's Wolfsbane potion, the weeks passed by at the manor with few surprises. There had been no attacks and life at the manor was becoming routine. Remus had found another bedroom, as he promised he would. Remus and Claire had gone on many walks across the grounds. Lesley was always with them, and sometimes her older sister, Emily, came along. Every now and then Tonks would walk with Claire instead of Remus, especially after the full moon. The walks were always a nice change from the monotony of the house, and it gave Remus and Claire time to chat. They had a budding friendship which made the long hours at the Manor go by faster. It was these walks that Remus was thinking about as he stared out the window.

"Remus, are we going to go for our walk today?"

"Of course, why wouldn't we?" Remus inquired, sitting back down at the table.

"Because sometimes you don't come with us. Why?"

"Well, sometimes I'm sick, and I'm not strong enough to go walking."

"Oh," Lesley replied. At that moment, Mrs. Berkley came into the kitchen and bade them all a good morning. Lesley looked at her mother and then said, "Mummy, will you come for a walk with us today?"

Mrs. Berkley smiled at her daughter. "I would love to."

"Can Daddy come too?"

"Well love," Mrs. Berkley started, looking over at Remus, "we need to check with the Guard first. We can't have anything happen to Daddy."

"I don't see a problem with it," Remus replied. "Obviously, Claire will be with us and I'll ask Tonks or Moody if they want to go, too."

"That sounds wonderful, thank you," Mrs. Berkley responded.

Remus waved the thanks away with his hand. "It's not a problem. It must be trying being cooped up in here all the time."

When Remus ran the idea of having Mr. and Mrs. Berkley on the walk with them past Moody, the older man insisted he accompany them. Tonks was to stay back at the manor to watch over Emily, who didn't want to go.

It was after lunch, and the walk started out like any other. Remus and Claire walked down their usual path, side by side. Lesley would run up ahead, and Claire and Remus would follow. Mr. and Mrs. Berkley walked off to the side, far enough away for privacy, yet close enough that they would not be in danger. Moody followed up the rear.

"You were up awfully early this morning," Claire commented, glancing over at Remus. Her soft green robes were swishing in the grass as she walked.

"I thought that I could review a few maps as I sipped my coffee," Remus replied, shifting his robes on his shoulders. His brown robes were becoming warm in the late spring sun.

"That makes sense. How did the revision go?" She looked at him earnestly.

"Quite well, I figured out that there are few supporters of Voldemort in this neck of the woods, and that cornflakes can spread out pretty far when spilt." A smirk crept across his face, and he glanced at her though pieces of his brown hair that was falling in front of his eyes.

Claire laughed. "I see. Critical information, that is."

"It is, you know," Remus replied, also chuckling. "So, why did you sleep in so late this morning? Normally you're up before everyone, but it was nearly 9 a.m. before you graced us with your presence." He looked over at Claire again, watching her navigate her way up a particularly hilly part on the ground.

"Well, we had a report that there was a chance of an attack last night, so we stayed up keeping guard. I was crawling into bed as a set of little feet were running into the kitchen." She had her arms out for balance, and as Remus followed her up the small hill, he reached out and steadied her with a hand on her back, and on her right arm.

Remus smiled, "I never thought my feet were that little. I guess you put me in my place."

"Very droll, Remus, very droll. I meant Lesley," Claire replied, looking at him with a smile on her face.

She turned her head away from Remus slightly, to look at Lesley walking ahead of them. Remus turned to look at her and then felt a hand slide into his own. He took her hand more securely, intertwining their fingers. He felt something stir inside of him as he softly caressed his thumb against her hand. It was a feeling of excitement and contentment that was growing with every step. When he looked at her he noticed that the dark circles still hadn't faded beneath her brown eyes. The smattering of freckles that ran across her cheekbones became more noticeable in the afternoon sun. She turned and their eyes met, again drawing his attention to the weariness in her eyes. It was at that moment he had a realization.

"Why wasn't I part of the guard last night?" Remus stopped walking and turned towards Claire.

Claire looked taken aback for a moment. "The full-moon was two night ago, you're still recovering. We only got the report after you turned in for the night. It was decided that we should let you sleep it off."

Remus shook his head. "I'm not some invalid. Two days is more than enough recovery time. You can't go burning the candle at both ends, you look pretty beat yourself."

Claire, who was looking at him dumbfounded, let go of his hand after the last comment. "Excuse me for caring about your welfare! We decided that it would be best for you to let you sleep another night, something that you're not too grateful for. Yes, we, decide that. Not just myself, but all of us. But hey, let's point out that I'm starting to look ragged around the edges." With that final comment, she turned and walked ahead to where Lesley was picking some wildflowers. At this point, Moody had caught up with Remus.

"That wasn't a very bright thing to say, you know she's a little fiery," Moody said stealthily. Remus was about to answer, but Moody continued. "I think it would be best if we turned around now. We are just on the other side of their property, so the Fidelius is not in effect." Remus nodded in agreement and made his way over to the Berkleys as Moody started towards Lesley and Claire.

"Mr. Berkley! Mrs. Berkley! I think that we sh-," Remus was cut off by a piercing scream. Figures dressed in black robes appeared out of thin air. Wands out, they were ready to attack. The scream came from Mrs. Berkley, who had started to run towards Lesley, but was struck with a well-aimed Cruciatus Curse. When she hit the ground, she was subsequently stunned. By the time the attackers were finished with Mrs. Berkley, the Guard was cursing the attackers defensively. The Guard was outnumbered, but everyone was doing their best to keep the Death Eaters away.

A few Death Eaters already lay on the ground, stunned. Remus had stunned another Death Eater when a second piercing scream hit his ears. He turned for a moment to see Claire backing up, dueling, and pushing a hysterical Lesley into the hollow behind them. In that split-second moment Remus saw the Death Eater make slashing movements with his wand and purple flames erupted from his wand, hitting Claire on the chest. She fell backwards into the hollow, knocking Lesley down at the same time. The Death Eater started to move towards Claire. Remus strode towards the Death Eater, sparks emitting from his wand. The Death Eater kicked the unconscious Claire out of his path as he made his way towards Lesley, who was whimpering with her back against the earth, wildflowers still clutched in her hand. A quick wave of his wand, and Lesley was stunned. Remus aimed his curse at the Death Eater, but it missed, hitting the ground at their feet. The Death Eater turned and Remus hit him in the eyes with the Conjunctivitis Curse. He stumbled backwards and Remus hit him with the Furnunculus Curse. Remus was about to hit them with another curse when he felt himself be hit by one, and then everything went black.

Remus woke up in his bed at Hogwarts. It took him a moment for him to realize where he was. The hangings were drawn around his bead, and he wondered if it was day or night. He started to move out of the bed, pulling back the hangings, and pain shot through his ribs. Looking down he saw that there were bandages wrapped around his rib cage. Now moving more gingerly, he planted his feet on the ground and pulled his loose white under-robe shirt on and a pair of slacks. Opening the door he looked across the room and saw Moody engrossed with writing a letter at the table on the other side of the room. To his left was a bedroom with the door open. Remus could see a set of robes in a soft green laid over a chair in the room. Remus looked at it for a moment, and then realized who was in that room. He gingerly got up and walked though the door, Moody glancing up at him.

Remus sat down in a chair next to the bed and picked up Claire's hand. He held her hand for a moment or two and then noticed that her eyes were opening.

"Hullo," he said softly, bringing her hand up to his lips and placing a soft kiss on her fingers.

"Hi," she replied. He held her hand tighter as his eyes wandered over her injuries. She had cuts on her cheek and forehead, as well as the damage the Death Eater's curse had done to her. Finally, he looked into her eyes.

"How bad do I look?" she asked.

"A little ragged around the edges," he replied softly, kissing her forehead.


	6. Chaste

When Remus pulled back from the light kiss he gave her, he noticed that her eyes had closed again and her head had tilted to the side

When Remus pulled back from the light kiss he gave her, he noticed that her eyes had closed again and her head had tilted to the side. It was obvious that she had gone unconscious again. Not too sure if that was normal, Remus stood to leave the room and summon Madam Pomfrey. He walked slowly around her bed and back into the common room. His bare feet were cold on the stone floor. When he reached the table where Moody was sitting, he had to stop and take a break. He pulled out a stool and eased himself on to it. He took a sharp breath in as pain shot up through his torso. Moody set his quill down and looked at Remus, "How are you holding up?"

"I think I'll live," Remus replied, leaning slightly on the table, grimacing in pain.

"We'll all live," Moody stated matter-of-factly, as he picked up his quill again.

"How are you? Tonks? Claire?"

"I'm mended, I ended up being Stunned. Tonks is fine, as she was in the house. She went down to the kitchens for breakfast I believe. You and Claire got the worst of it. Most of your ribs were broken, but they are almost mended."

"Almost?" Remus winced, shifting slightly.

"Yes, almost. You'd swear you were almost dying," said Moody, reproachfully. "As I was about to say, Claire had the most damage done. That bastard really hit her with all he had."

Remus stiffened at the memory. "I have to get Madam Pomfrey, Claire woke up, but fell unconscious again."

"No need, it's not the first time she woke up. Her body can't handle being conscious for very long." Moody returned to his correspondence.

"Did we catch any of the Death Eaters?"

"Yes," said Moody, folding up the Daily Prophet. "A lower ranking Death Eater, and Dolohov."

"Dolohov? Really?"

"Yes. He's the one who cursed Claire, it was his specialty you know."

"I know," Remus said, grimly. "How are the Berkleys?"

"I think we best wait for Dumbledore to explain that part. I was Stunned and don't remember anything," a grave Moody replied.

Remus nodded. "So, how long have we been here?"

"A day," Moody replied, his finished letter being placed in an envelope. At that moment Tonks came up from downstairs with a stack of toast and marmalade.

"Morning, Remus! Good to see you up and about," Tonks said, cheerfully.

"Morning, Nymphadora."

Tonks just rolled her eyes. "So, you're feeling better?"

"Well, the last thing I remember is being Stunned, and I wake up in pain, so technically no, but I'll take your word for it," Remus said, picking up a piece of toast but not taking a bite.

"You'd better; you were in a right state when you got here. The spell that you were hit with shattered all your ribs." Tonks sat down at the table across from him, and helped herself to some toast.

Remus eyebrows shot up with surprise, and he put his breakfast down onto the table. He had broken bones before, but never any that were shattered. He thought about the Death Eater attack, and Lesley's terrified face came to his mind. He propped his elbows on the table and ran his hand over his eyes, and through his hair, suddenly feeling weary and full of dread. The Guard could hear the approaching footsteps of the Headmaster, the old oak door from the passageway opened quietly. When Dumbledore entered the room Remus moved his hand away from his eyes. Dumbledore's expression was very grave, and there was no twinkle in his eyes. Remus' blood ran cold, he couldn't bear to know how bad the damage was if this was Dumbledore's reaction. Dumbledore turned to Moody and nodded a greeting. He turned to the remaining Guard to address them.

"I see we are all here and no worse for wear. I understand that Miss Desjardins cannot join us, so I expect you to fill her in. As you are aware, the Death Eaters discovered you yesterday when you stepped outside the Fidelius' boundary. It is believed that Death Eaters knew its location before the Fidelius charm. They staked out the grounds, so to say. When you exposed your position, those hiding under disillusionment charms began their attack. Concerning the Berkley family, we only know that those who remained on the property are all fine and mended. They were only Stunned. However, I do have some disconcerting news regarding the point of our mission. An unknown Death Eater was able to grab Mr. Berkley and kidnap him using side-along Apparation. We are assuming that they are keeping him at an unknown location. I have asked Severus to find out where he is being kept. Furthermore, Severus will work on creating a potion that will detect the Imperius Potion, as well as an antidote."

It was at that moment that Dumbledore paused, and the weight of what he had just said to them set in. Failure. Absolute failure. Tonks looked down at the ground. Moody huffed and left the table. Remus ran his palm over the stubble on his chin.

"Fortunately, the Death Eaters need Mr. Berkley to create the recipe."

"How is this fortunate?" Remus asked.

Dumbledore looked at Remus with no glimmer in his eyes. "It is fortunate that Mr. Berkley is alive, as opposed to lying in a hollow on his property, dead as a result of carelessness." Remus looked away, burning with shame. "I expect one of you to debrief Claire when she can handle the news. From the sounds of her injuries, that shouldn't be for quite a few days."

With that final statement, Dumbledore stood up and strode out of the room, his deep purple robes billowing behind him impressively. When the heavy, wooden door clicked shut Remus got up and turned away from the table. Tonks was sitting at the table, reading a discarded Daily Prophet. Moody made his way to the door, heading to the Owlery. Remus walked into his room, over to his bed, and picked up his robe. He pulled it on carefully and made his way over to Claire's bedroom. Looking at her, he could see that she was still unconscious. She had the covers up to her chest, but her arms were outside of the covers. She had on a white nightgown, with just a bit of decorative lace on the collar. Remus sat down on the chair beside her bed; he picked up her hand and held it in both of his. He sat there for many minutes looking at her; with every passing second, he felt more and more guilt over the situation. Remus figured that had they not been fighting, they would have never over stepped the grounds, and none of this would have happened. Dumbledore had made it perfectly clear that he felt the same way. He rested his elbows on her bed and brought his hands up to his mouth, holding them there, her hand still resting in his. He was lost in thought when a familiar voice came from the doorway.

"It's not your fault, you know," Moody told him.

Remus lowered his hands, still holding Claire's, and turned to Moody. "If we hadn't fought, then we wouldn't have stepped outside the boundary."

"Yes we would have," Moody stated taking two steps into the small room.

"How do you know?"

"Because I didn't notice that we were near the boundary until it was too late. Even if Claire had not run ahead, the Berkley's would have been outside the charm."

"You can't blame what happened on yourself." Remus sat back in the chair and looked at Moody.

"Who said I was? I am just telling you so you don't take the blame for this on your shoulders."

"Dumbledore seems to think it was my fault," Remus said, looking down.

"Dumbledore, although upset at the result of the mission, is more upset that you and Claire were seriously injured. Look at his anger as the parental kind, if something happened to you that could have hurt you, and after you were found to be alright your parents would ream into you over your mistakes."

"True, but I don't remember feeling this much guilt over anything I did to my parents."

"That because someone else besides you was injured," Moody concluded. He turned and exited the room, leaving the door half-shut.

Remus went back to contemplating his actions when he was interrupted again. Claire was stirring in her sleep and was on the verge of waking up. Remus pushed pieces of her brown hair that fell over her face, and with his light touch she began to wake up. Her eyes opened and she looked and him and smiled softly.

"Still here?" she inquired.

"Of course," Remus replied, looking at her seriously.

"You've got to be pretty bored then," she said, smiling.

"Ah, but with Dumbledore striding in every now and then there's always excitement." Remus matched her smile.

"Dumbledore was here? How are the Berkleys?" said Claire, trying in vain to straighten up. Remus helped her, she held onto his hand as she tried to pull herself up. He was gently pushing on her back with his other hand to give her momentum. Successful, he placed her pillow against her back and head for support.

"They are all safe and fine, along with Moody and Tonks," said Remus, with a faint smile. He wouldn't tell her about Mr. Berkley now, not until her condition improved more.

At this moment Madam Pomfrey had entered the room with an armload of potions. She made her way towards Claire's bed and looked relieved when she saw her awake.

"I'm glad to see that you are awake. I've brought your potions, and I didn't want to have to leave them here for you to take later." Madam Pomfrey started setting them down on Claire's bedside table.

"Well, I try to be as accommodating as I can," Claire said with a smirk, shifting against her pillows.

"I'm sure you do," said Madam Pomfrey, as she looked over at Remus at the same time. He made an innocent face. "Now, Remus, if you could be helpful and help Claire sit up a little more that would be great."

"Of course, not a problem," Remus said, as he silently prepared himself for the pain that was about to shoot through his abdomen.

"Oh, bugger! Never mind Remus, she's passed out again. This is awful; I am never going to get these potions into her." Madam Pomfrey sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at Claire. "This mission turned into such a disaster," she sighed, shaking her head. "Are you going to stay here for a bit?" Remus nodded. "I am going to leave these potions here, if she wakes up just call me over and we'll get her settled." Remus nodded again, and swallowed hard. He felt that if he could swallow the guilt that he was feeling that everything would be better. He looked down again at Claire. Their foolish mistakes could have got everyone killed. He knew the decision that had to be made. Although their relationship had never moved beyond hand holding and a quick kiss on the forehead, it had to remain that way. The Order members depended upon them for their lives, at the least. They had to remain co-workers, friends. They had to remain chaste.

Remus wondered how Claire would feel about that decision.


	7. Partition

Collateral Damage: Chapter 7: Partition

Claire had eventually come to; her potions were given to her and over the course of the next few days, her health perked up. Gradually she could sit up in bed on her own, and then she was able to walk around her room by herself.

Remus, who was watchful of her in the hidden dormitory, did his best not to seem too intrusive. He would sit with her a small periods of time and then allows her time to rest. They would each their meals together, Remus would bring the food from the kitchens, and they would eat in her room. On some days, she was not well enough to eat with him. His heart fell those days. He enjoyed having someone to talk to that talked about more things than just the war. He shared stories about his time at Hogwarts, and she shared stories about hers. She would tell stories about Tonks, her fellow Hufflepuff, who was three years Claire's junior.

While he enjoyed all of these moments, he felt conflicted. He knew he had to start to distance himself from Claire, but part of him didn't want to scare her away either. Remus still had not told Claire of his decision that they should remain friends and nothing more. He did not want to bring it up with her, fearing the worst. He assumed that the second he mentioned those words to her, she would feel as if she wasn't desired, and subsequently reject him completely. Remus knew, however, that each day that her strength grew was a day closer to telling her of his decision.

Walking around the hospital wing with her once, to stretch her legs, Remus decided that the day she started to treat patients again would be the day to tell her. As they made their way towards an open window, the sun was shining brightly on this last Hogsmeade weekend and many students could be seen lounging about on the grounds. As Claire let go of his arm that she was using for support, she leaned on the windowsill, trying to take in as much of the fresh air and sunshine that she could. Remus turned to look at her and smiled when he saw how content she was just being in that windowsill in the sunshine. A small smile crept across her face, the sun making everything from her hair to her goldenrod robes brighter. Subconsciously, he gently placed his hand on the small of her back as he leaned in to look out the window, then he pulled his hand away just as quickly as he placed it there. Mentally, he cursed himself for not being able to control himself. Claire noticed these actions and looked up at him. It was all Remus could do to look away, blankly staring into the horizon, the sun brightly shining in his eyes. Wordlessly, Claire rested her cheek against his arm. He looked down at her, her hair softly touching his royal blue robes. Not being able to bear it anymore, Remus turned to face her once more. Again, she looked up at him, this time more startled at his sudden movement. 

"Claire," he began.

All of a sudden, there was a flash of movement in their peripheral vision and screaming could be heard. Both parties turned to look out the window. Down on the lawn they could see a crowd of students forming in a circle around two other students. Someone broke away from the circle and ran towards the school. Seconds later, Professor McGonagall came running out from castle. From their window they could see someone who looked liked an injured Ginny Weasley talking to Professor McGonagall rather frantically. Next to her was a bloodied Seamus Finnegan, being supported by two other students. All of a sudden, McGonagall directed something to the students who were holding Seamus up and then she and Ginny started to run back into the castle. The rest of the students on the grounds started to do the same and in the horizon students were seen coming back to Hogwarts in droves.

After that split second, Remus and Claire turned away from the window.

"I must go, the Order..." started Remus.

"I must get Madam Pomfrey, those injured..." added Claire.

"...might be needed, and..."

"...might not be the only ones, and..."

"I must go," they both said at once. 

Remus dashed off towards the door and down the passageway as fast as he could, and Claire shuffled along behind him, on her way to Madam Pomfrey's office. Remus had almost made it to the end of the passageway when Moody found him.

"Remus, you must come to Dumbledore's office immediately, there's been an attack at-" 

"Hogsmeade, I know. I saw some of the students coming back." Remus said, striding down the hallway with Moody at his side.

"There's more than just an attack, but it will have to wait." Moody replied, grimly.

Remus's blood ran cold and he gave Moody a sideways glance. He tried to remember the last time he saw Harry, and if Harry was one of the students in the crowd with Ginny and Seamus. He knew that racking his brain would be of no use, his gut told him that Harry was deeply involved.

In the hospital wing, Claire and Madam Pomfrey were trying to prepare the wing for the casualties. Even if it was just Ginny Weasley and Seamus Finnegan who were injured, it was good to be prepared for whatever might happen. Claire was having difficulty keeping up the pace of preparing the Hospital Wing; she repeatedly became light-headed from the exertion. Still, she managed to procure ten vials of a numbing balm, a disinfecting potion, as well as bandages. Since she was unable to reach the top shelf in the store cupboard she Accio-ed a large quantity of the sleeping draught. The rest of the potions and elixirs were located in Madam Pomfrey's private stock, which she was retrieving. Claire placed the partitions between the beds, as well as at the end of the beds. It would save the other patients the possible horror of seeing one of their classmates seriously hurt. Madam Pomfrey bustled back into the room a step ahead of Ginny and Seamus; Dean Thomas and Neville Longbottom were supporting Seamus.

"Just put him on the first bed," Poppy directed. "Ginny, I want you to go into that bed, Miss Desjardins will tend to your injuries." 

"But my brother! I have to go back out there!" Ginny protested as Claire was gently pushing back towards the designated bed.

"Miss Weasley! You are in no shape to go back out there and you will do as I say. I can not afford to supervise you while I am trying to tend to you comrade." Madam Pomfrey sternly told her.

Ginny resigned herself to the partitions reluctantly and sat down on the bed. Claire began to tend to the young girl's injuries.

The air in Dumbledore's office was filled with an anxious energy. The Headmaster was pacing around his room while Snape and McGonagall were fervently discussing their options. Remus came into the room and sat down. There were quite a few members of the Order present, crowding the small office.

Dumbledore turned to them and said, "If you don't mind, I would like to pass along all that we know of right now. Twenty minutes ago Harry, Ron, and Hermione were walking down the main street in Hogsmeade. Apparently out of nowhere, Bellatrix Lestrange, along with her husband Rodolphus Lestrange, appeared. Harry and his friends, including some of the DA started dueling with them, the result being that a few students were injured in the crossfire. They have been taken to the Hospital Wing for treatment. Witnesses have said that Harry continued to duel with Bellatrix, with Ron and Hermione on either side of him when all of a sudden Rodolphus came up from behind, grabbed him, and Disapparated away. Not only was this incredibly risky on Rodolphus's part because there was a good chance that Harry could have been spliced, but since Ron and Hermione were so close to Harry when they were standing next to him, they were touching him as well. That means that when Rodolphus Disapparated, he also took Ron and Hermione with him. Their families have been contacted, and shall be here shortly. We have no idea of the location of their captivity, as Severus was even unaware of this surprise attack."

After he finished, Dumbledore sat down in his large chair and looked back at the Order sitting in front of him 

Severus then began to speak, "I do not believe that this attack was planned by Voldemort. Personally, I believe that it was an attempt by Bellatrix to make up for her mistake last June in the Department of Mysteries. Voldemort would obviously be involved now; however, I do not think it was his plan to attack in such an obvious way."

"Severus, I do not doubt that you are right. This attack was far too risky to be something that Voldemort would have planned. There was the chance for too many things to go wrong. However that does not stop the fact that we do not know where they are right now, and thus, cannot help them. What I need you to do, Alastor and Remus, is to go to Hogsmeade. If they come back, it will be to that location."

With that, Moody and Remus stood and departed the office. They made their way to Hogsmeade in silence. They saw Arthur and Molly Weasley turn up the stairs towards the Hospital Wing, stone-faced. All Remus could feel in his stomach was the fear and dread for Harry, Ron, and Hermione.

When they reached Hogsmeade, they saw some of the destruction that some of the curses had caused. There were broken windows in some of the shops; it appeared that the shopkeepers hid during the duel. As they walked through the middle of the street they heard a large crack, the sound of someone Apparating, all of a sudden. Moody and Remus spun around and were shocked with what they saw. A weary and disheveled Hermione and Harry supported what appeared to be an unconscious Ron. Harry looked up at Remus just before his eyes rolled back into his head and he collapsed. Hermione fell as a result of Ron's lifeless form falling to the ground also; she could not hold him up on her own. Remus and Moody ran over to them and checked for pluses.

"Ron's a-alive," Hermione said weakly, looking up at Remus. "He... he, was p-put under the Cru-Cruciatus Curse. Harry started to fight V-Voldemort, but then their wands wouldn't work, and... and then Voldemort threw his wand down and pulled out another wand, and then tried to curse Harry, but he dodged it, and landed near Ron and myself and then I grabbed Ron and so did Harry, and we stood and I Disapparated away with the two of them. I... I had been studying over the Christmas and Easter break so I could take my test in the summer. I had never Apparated before."

Remus looked at Hermione and nodded. "You'll have to tell Dumbledore that story too, but we have to get you all back to the castle right now. Can you stand?" 

Hermione nodded, and started to stand weakly. Remus supported her as she started to walk back to the gates. Moody had transfigured two stretchers for Harry and Ron and was directing them back within Hogwarts boundary.

Back in the Hospital Wing, Ginny had been tended to and was sitting with her mother on her small hospital bed. One of the screens had been pulled back so Arthur Weasley could stand. No words were being spoken, as they were all too worried about where Ron, Harry, and Hermione were. When Ron and Harry were directed into the Hospital Wing, Hermione followed with Remus, Moody, and Dumbledore. Molly jumped up and rushed to Ron.

"Ron! What happened to him? He's not... is he?" Molly looked up at Dumbledore with tears in her eyes.

"No, Molly, Ron's alive. He is unconscious as a result of going under the Cruciatus Curse. We won't know the full extent of his injuries until he wakes up. Hopefully, he will fully recover."

Molly gripped Ron's hand and she and Arthur looked at their son, grief-stricken. Claire brought a blanket over to place over Ron's torso. Molly then turned to Dumbledore and inquired about Harry.

"According to Hermione, as well as Remus and Alastor, Harry arrived conscious, however he passed out shortly after he returned. I believe his duel with Bellatrix and then Voldemort drained him of energy, but I will have to wait for Madam Pomfrey to assess him."

Madam Pomfrey then came over and checked Ron, repeating what Dumbledore said about not knowing the extent of his injuries yet, and that there was nothing that they could do until he woke up, if he did. This prognosis caused Molly to weep into the blanket covering Ron. Arthur stoically placed a hand on her shoulder. Remus had gone over to sit with Harry, who was starting to stir. Claire was tending to some of Hermione's cuts and bruises. Madam Pomfrey then walked over to Harry just as he woke up. She checked out his condition and diagnosed that he was drained and exhausted and that he should rest immediately. Dumbledore insisted on privacy and made Harry relay his story to him. Remus left Harry and made his way over to Hermione, who was staring straight ahead. Claire was sitting next to her, with a worried expression on her face.

"I heard them say that there's a chance he won't wake up," Hermione whispered, her voice cracking.

"We don't know that yet, he could very well wake up in ten minutes." Claire said, trying to comfort her. 

Hermione looked at Claire and then at Remus who were both sitting on the bed on either side of her. A large tear started to fall out of Hermione's eyes, and in a few short seconds she was crying into Remus' shoulder, sobs racking her body.

"Shhh, he'll be alright. He's a strong lad, he'll pull through," Remus comforted.

"But what if he doesn't? I love him so much and I couldn't bear to lose him." Hermione bawled into Remus' cloak.

Remus looked over at Claire, who was gently rubbing Hermione's back; Claire looked back up at him.

"Hermione, let's just wait and see if Ron wakes up before shedding tears. I'm sure Ron wouldn't want you crying just yet." Claire responded in a comforting tone.

Hermione lifted her head, there were still large tears in her eyes, and her breathing was hiccupped. The tears had streaked faint red marks down her face, and her hair was as disheveled as ever.

"Come on, let's take you over to see Ron, you can sit with him and his family." Claire stood and took a hold of Hermione's arm to help her out of the bed. Claire and Remus helped Hermione shuffle over to Ron's bedside. When Molly saw her, she rose and hugged Hermione and made the girl sit next to her on the bed. They all just looked at Ron's unconscious form. As Remus and Claire turned to leave them in private, Remus pulled the partitions around the family. Looking over to Harry's bed, Remus saw Harry's silhouette through the partitions. He appeared to be sleeping. Remus sighed; Harry was far too young to deal with such responsibility. Also, Hermione and Ron should be able to be happy together without the fear and pain that comes when loved ones fight in a war.

Looking over at Claire as she wearily walked to her quarters in the secret dormitory, her hand using his arm for support, Remus knew what he had to tell her.

"Claire," Remus started.

"Yes, Remus?"

"Seeing Hermione's reaction to Ron's injuries today had me thinking - we've already gone through something like that, and we weren't even dating. I don't know if I can bear going through that again, let alone if we were intimate. Being in the Order requires us to put it ahead of almost anything else, and I don't think we can afford things like what happened with the Berkley's to happen once more. Maybe we should just be friends for now."

Remus looked into Claire's eyes when he was finished his speech. He knew his face gave it away that he didn't want to mean what he was saying. Claire looked back up at him with understanding in her eyes.

"I know. I was thinking the same thing. It would be easier this way, and better for everyone else."

Her eyes lied, too; Remus saw that this was not the answer that she wanted to give. However, any chance to continue the conversation with her had to end there because they were at the door to Claire's quarters. She let go of Remus's arm and opened her door.

"Good night Remus," Claire said, as she looked up at him.

"Good night."

Remus looked down at Claire, fighting the urge to kiss her. Instead he just smiled weakly and as she smiled back, closed the door gently after her. Remus turned and was making the short trip back to the Hospital Wing to sit with Harry. On his way he saw Dumbledore approaching him from the opposite direction.

"Remus! I've been meaning to have a word with you."

"Yes, sir."

"I think it's time now for you to go on your mission."


	8. Dancing

Remus stood up straighter, and looked the headmaster in the eye, stoned-faced

Remus stood up straighter, and looked the headmaster in the eye, stoned-faced. This was the mission that he had been waiting to go on and now he finally had his chance to help.

"When do I leave?"

"In three days. I think that should be enough time for you to get all of your information together before you go. You will be Apparating to a rural location in northern France and you will be working with some werewolves as an emissary. The key is to find out what their contact with Voldemort is, and what he is offering." Dumbledore looked at Remus seriously.

"Yes, sir." Remus raised his chin after he spoke, determined to succeed. Yet, there was this small nagging feeling, tugging at him at the corner of his mind. It was something that made him not want to go; he couldn't put his finger on it - all he knew was that he was not happy about it.

After he had told Remus, Dumbledore sensed something amiss from the look on Remus' face.

"Are you prepared to handle this mission? I know you have been working on the maps for quite some time, but if you feel that it is too soon for you to go back into the field then by all means, take some more time. However I ask you to not take too long, as it is of grave importance that the packs are brought onto our side."

Remus' back stiffened; whatever this feeling was, it wasn't about to stop him from going on this mission. He burned with shame with the thought that Dumbledore did not think he was strong enough to handle this mission.

"No, sir. I will be ready to go in two weeks, have no fear."

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. "I have no doubt that you will be ready, even if there is the possibility that you may be less eager to go."

"I have been preparing for this mission for months, I am ready."

"I know you are, Remus, I know." With those final words Dumbledore walked away from the very confused man towards his office. Remus watched Dumbledore leave. He tiled his head slightly and furrowed his brows. He was puzzled about what Dumbledore told him. How did Dumbledore know that there was a lingering resigned feeling? Remus shook his head. It must be Legilimency. The one thing that puzzled Remus was that Dumbledore seemed to know why Remus was reluctant to leave, which was an idea that he himself had not been able to uncover yet.

When Remus headed back to headquarters, his path took him past the Hospital Wing. Briefly looking inside he saw that much of the commotion had died down. Not only was Harry asleep, and Hermione was asleep in a chair sitting next to Ron. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were talking in hushed tones in the darkness. Remus paused only for a moment, and continued onwards to his room.

As he readied himself for bed, absentmindedly removing his well-worn navy robes, his mind was replaying the discussion that he had with Dumbledore only moments before. Those thoughts then turned to the plans that he had made for the upcoming mission. This mission had been in the works for months now, it was critical that it did not end up a complete mess like Hagrid's envoy to the Giants, and like the Berkley fiasco. As he pulled a faded burgundy nightshirt over his head, Remus started making a mental checklist of the tasks that were before him. Since he was trying to reach out to the packs, he had to go alone; if he went with other werewolves or people, they would interpret the act as a hostile action. While it helped him infiltrate the packs and try to win them to this side, it also made him extremely vulnerable to the whim of the leaders. Remus frowned as he pulled back the covers and got into bed. If the pack didn't like what he was saying, they could easily have him killed, and with no one there to back him up, he would be as good as dead. Dead. Remus, sitting up in bed, ran his hands through his hair and down over his face. Death was a prospect in this day and age that Remus had come to accept; especially after his friends had passed, he had accepted that if he had to die to help win for our side then it must be done. And yet, despite his resignation to accept his fate, even if it required his death, this nagging feeling still didn't pass. Lying down in bed, he tried to shrug the feeling off, he figured that it was nerves; he had seen far too much action to be nervous for his own safety. He just accepted that maybe this feeling was the result of exhaustion. His head hit the pillow and sleep came to him quickly.

In Claire's small quarters, she had prepared herself for bed, changing into her light blue cotton nightgown, plaiting her hair in a long braid, and turning down her plum and ivory patchwork covers. All these motions were very robotic, as her mind was racing, trying to process everything that had happened. She knew it was far too early for her to sleep; the sun had only set within the last hour, but she knew she had to at least try, for she didn't know if she would be needed in the Hospital Wing during the night. She walked around her bed, and pulled the plum hangings closest to the door shut, climbed into her bed, reached over and closed the other set of hangings. As she reached, pain shot threw her abdomen and chest. Her breath caught in her throat and she just let the hangings stay half open. It wasn't worth the pain to stick to her routine. As she lay in bed, she stared up at her canopy and thought of the events today. The emotions that she felt in her chest didn't allow her to relax. It felt as if a heavy weight were pressing down on her. She sighed and gingerly turned on to her side. The words that Remus left her with rang in her head. She knew he was right; after seeing what happened between Hermione and Ron today just made them painfully aware of what they already knew. Whether he was right or not did not make it easier for her to accept, but it made her resigned to the fact that this is what they had to do. She closed her eyes and tried to let sleep overtake her.

The next few days passed without event. After remaining unconscious for another two days Ron woke up only to be promptly squished by his mother's tight embrace. Harry was removed from the Hospital Wing to only become more withdrawn from his friends. He blamed Ron's injuries on himself, and felt that he should stay way from his friends to ensure their safety. Remus understood where his pain was coming from and tried to speak to the young man, but found that his words went in one ear and out the other. Remus voiced his concern to the Headmaster, who took it upon himself to help. Remus saw from Harry's actions the pain you can cause by withdrawing yourself from the people that you care about.

Using Harry's example as a counterexample, Remus decided that maybe he should extend his hand again to Claire; they could at the very least allow their friendship to continue, not necessarily to become romantically involved. It was a result of that conclusion that made Remus decided to approach Claire one sunny afternoon after term had ended. She was in the storehouse for the Hospital Wing; taking an inventory of the potions that needed restocking. As Remus came up behind her he started to feel nervous. His palms became warm, and he could feel a blush creeping up his neck. This was the first real conversation that they had had since the attack in Hogsmeade. As he walked up to her he grew concerned that she might think he was playing some sort of game with her by wanting to be apart and now together. He was tempted to turn back or to just inquire about a potion; but as she turned her head to the side and he saw the wisps of hair escaping from her braid, and brushing the skin on the back of her neck; he knew that he wanted more than anything to be able to be close to her, at least under the guise of friendship, for now. As he drew closer, he saw her reach to pick up a small vial that appeared to be almost empty. She was about to catch hold of the vial when she stopped, grimaced, and grabbed her side as if there was a stitch in it. Quickly, Remus walked over to where she stood and put his hand on her shoulder as he reached up and procured the vial for her. She turned to him at his touch, and smiled at him when he handed the vial to her. Remus quickly looked away when he caught himself looking at her a little too long.

"Your side still bothers you?" he asked, concerned. He gave her his hand as she stepped down from the stool.

"Yes, but only when I extend too much. I'll be better soon. Thank you." Claire looked up at Remus and smiled as she let go of his hand. Remus smiled back at her and looked down, awkwardly.

"You'll have to take care of yourself, Claire. I'm not going to be around to help pick up vials from shelves; I don't want to get any messages from Dumbledore saying you've re-injured yourself," Remus said, half-joking. He laughed softly, but the sound was hollow to his ears.

"Not going to be here?" Claire said absent-mindedly as she re-labeled a potion. "Where are you going to be?" She placed the potion on the table and looked up at him.

Remus sighed, leaned against the table, picked up one of the potion vials and rolled it in his hands. "I don't know the exact location; but it's the mission involving the werewolves."

Claire took the vial out of his hands, placed it on the table, and turned to face Remus. "When are you going?"

"In about a week," he said as he cautiously glanced at her through the strands of his hair that fell in front of his eyes.

"Oh, that's soon," Claire said, as her face fell she looked away. "You've been preparing for this mission for a while; and with the last attack it only makes sense that you have to go."

Remus stopped leaning, turned, and faced Claire. "The Order needs this bit of spying; and I have to redeem myself after the mess at the Berkley manor."

Claire raised her eyes to meet Remus'. "You know that wasn't your fault." She reached out and placed her hand in his.

"I know, but I just felt responsible," Remus said, looking at her small hand in his.

"Well, there's no need to feel that way, no one blames you," Claire said, patting his hand with her other hand.

"I know, I know," Remus sighed.

Remus let go of her hand, and turned away from her. He ran one of his hands over the old wood of the table; his fingers absent-mindedly playing over the cracks in the wood. Claire walked over to Remus and took his hand in her hands, again. He looked up at her and found her looking at him with a pleading look.

"You have to stop blaming yourself for this. We all knew what the risks were when we agreed to help stop Voldemort."

Remus looked into her pleading eyes and smiled reluctantly, slight wrinkles formed at the corners of his eyes.

"You're right; I have to let this go. It will only hold me back."

Claire smiled broadly. "Good! Now, if you could be helpful enough to put this vial back up on the shelf; I have to give this list of potions to Poppy." With that, Claire turned quickly and left to find the healer, her light green robes swaying as she walked. Remus was left staring after her; his mood had improved immensely from its state before their conversation. Watching her leave the room, Remus knew what he would miss the most while he was away. He realized what Dumbledore was hinting at; he felt foolish for not seeing it all along.


	9. Summit

Thanks you to Bobby Dazzler for being my beta

Thanks you to Bobby Dazzler for being my beta!

Remus spent the next several days withdrawn in his room, wanting to be as prepared as possible for his upcoming mission. He took several books out of the Hogwarts library about werewolves and the proper methods of interaction when approaching a werewolf pack. He did not want to offend the Alpha on his very first encounter with the pack. Since the pack's location was in mountainous Haut-Savoie, they did not have much interaction with outsiders and might be even more socially stringent as a result.

Most of the books detailed proper greetings, in both werewolf and human form, and the proper ways to address the Alpha and everyone else in the social order of the pack. The last section he read was on sparring. Apparently the wilder the pack, the greater the increase in sparring amongst males. Remus highly doubted that he would be required to spar with anyone; as a newcomer, he knew his place was at the lowest of the social standings in the pack.

Quietly, he closed the book and rubbed his eyes. It had been several intense days of research and planning. Remus was going to hike to the mountainous location and bring the pack a gift. He was to give two gifts actually, one being fresh meat and the other being a supply of the Wolfsbane potion for one of the members to take. Depending on their relationship with the Wizarding world, they may prefer one gift over the other, and he had to figure out which one would be the proper gift before ever presenting it to the Alpha.

He quietly stood and started to stack the books and papers on the small desk in his room. He groaned and rubbed the back of his neck as it had started to develop a slow ache from his hours reading. He wondered if Madame Pomfrey could give him anything for the pain, or maybe Claire could. He sighed and let his hand drop, knowing he was just looking for an excuse to see her. Ever since he realized that he adored her and nothing could be done to stop it, he had not been able to see her. His obligations to the Order superseded any obligations to his heart, at least for now.

Slowly, he walked over to his small armoire and pulled out his dark brown robe; it was the best one he owned. Tonight there was a dinner for the Order members that were present at Hogwarts. School had just ended, and they were the only ones left in the building. Some members, like Snape, were coming from their homes as well. It was a sort of informal sendoff for Remus, as he was due to leave less than thirty-six hours from now.

After he had adjusted his robes, he opened the door and found that the table in the middle of the room had been extended and an embroidered tablecloth was placed over it. There were long benches at the table, for once. Remus assumed that someone had conjured them for the dinner tonight. As he shut the door to his room he heard a loud "Look out!" He ducked just before a flying set of plates crashed into him on their way to the table to set themselves. He looked over at Tonks who just cringed and laughed. Chuckling, he mocked looking in both directions before making his way to the table.

Several people were already at the table, such as Dumbledore, Moody, Kingsley and Tonks. Snape had just entered the room via the passageway when Remus felt movement next to him. As he turned, he saw Claire smiling at him as she sat. He noticed that she wore her hair loose today, instead of in its usual plait. He smiled back at her and spied a blush rise in her cheeks. Just to tease, Remus lightly traced her fingers resting on the bench with his own, all while watching her with a smile; he noted that the blush rose up to her cheekbones and that her high-collared midnight blue robe failed at hiding it. She removed her hand from his tender touch and quietly cleared her throat. She looked over at him and smiled. Remus smiled back and then brought his attention to everyone else at the table.

He locked eyes with Dumbledore who just nodded at him. He gulped, knowing that Dumbledore had known his feelings for Claire all along. Next, he spied Snape glowering at everyone, as usual. He was surprised Snape was even present at the dinner as he normally avoided these types of things. Moody and Tonks were serving themselves and Kingsley was telling Claire a story, making her laugh in the process. As the food went around to everyone and the wine was poured, everyone started to enjoy themselves even more. There was an increase in laugher and joviality. Remus was toasted with "good luck" on his mission and was teased about "going wild" by some of the less formal members of the Order. Remus laughed good-naturedly, but deep down was afraid that he would become "wild" and never be able to rejoin the civilized world he has always been used to.

As the evening progressed, the mismatched candles burned low and the House-elves came to pick up the empty plates. Moody and Kingsley headed off with Dumbledore to his office; they had matters to discuss about security in Hogsmeade. Snape had disappeared as soon as dinner had finished, not that this had surprised Remus. Tonks was sitting by the main fireplace writing a letter which left Remus along with Claire at the table. She turned to face him.

"So, how are you really feeling about this mission? Are you nervous?"

"I think before any mission we all have our fears, but there isn't anything for me to fear that I haven't already done several times before," Remus replied. He did not want to tell Claire that he feared losing his control, his humanity, while in the pack. She may be alright with his werewolf status, but he did not want to press his luck.

"Hmm, that's true. I guess I never really thought about it that way. You know, I'm going to miss you while you are gone, there's no one else like you." She turned again, looking away from him towards the fireplace. Remus was stunned; he had not expected any sort of confession from Claire. He had figured his adoration was uneven against any affection she may have.

"I'm really going to miss you, too," he replied softly. He slowly leaned in towards her to whisper in her ear, "there's no one like you, either." Claire turned at this, speechless, and looked at Remus with wide eyes. He resisted the urge to kiss her; he did not want to completely destroy the resolve he was slowly chipping away at.

She looked away, down and then back up at him, just as she told him that she had to go to bed. She was feeling tired from her busy day. Not wanting to keep her, Remus slid out from the bench, allowing her to exit. She took his hand as she stood and had him start to walk with her to her room. When they reached the heavy oak door she let go of his hand, looked at him thoughtfully, and wrapped her arms around his neck. Instinctively, Remus wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her towards him. As she reached up to kiss him, he leaned in towards her. They kissed, and Remus could feel a surge of excitement and energy pulse through him with every moment. He pulled her tighter to himself, deepening the kiss while doing so. Claire responded in kind, playing her tongue against his and running her hand up into his hair.

Breathlessly, they parted, both surprised at their actions. Remus knew that whatever decision he had made in the past was completely out the window after that kiss. He could see that Claire felt the same, as she smiled and backed towards her door. When it opened, she disappeared inside and closed the door quietly. Remus turned and walked towards his room, his head spinning with emotion. He wanted to go back there, knock on her door and see what Claire would do, but the other part of him did not want to muddle things up with emotion right before he left.

The next day Remus spent in Dumbledore's office and all of the final details for the mission were put into place. Remus would portkey to London, then to Calais, and finally to Chamonix near Mont Blanc. The reason for so many transitions was due to the great distance between Hogwarts and the last city before the trek into the wilderness. The pack was located in the mountainous area near Mont Blanc and all Remus was equipped with was his supply of Wolfsbane potion, a portkey back to Calais, as well as a medium-sized bag of floo powder. Dumbledore made it clear that Remus was to use it to contact the Order for updates, but could use it for assistance or recreation as well. Remus stiffened at this; he was not expecting to make any sort of frivolous communications while away. He did not want to risk the Hogwarts floo being compromised. He voiced his concern to Dumbledore, who just chuckled and reassured him that there was nothing to fear, and that the floo would not be compromised.

Remus missed dinner that evening as he was packing in his room. He packed a few changes of clothes as well as some books that he planned on shrinking upon his arrival in Haute-Savoie; heavy packs were not easy to carry in the rough terrain. He packed up a lot of the remaining clothes and books in the shelves and armoire in the room. He did not want to leave a mess in case someone had to clear out his belongings. Remus left his room and made his way to the kitchens for something to eat; it was quite late at the time, nearly ten o'clock at night. After a small sandwich, he made his way back to his room.

He looked over at Claire's door as he quietly opened his. Something stirred inside him; he realized that he had not seen or spoken to her all day. He was about to enter his room, not wanting to disturb her at this hour, when he was suddenly struck with the thought that this could be the last time he saw her, ever. He did not want any regrets, so he made his way to her door and knocked softly. After a moment the door opened a few inches. Claire looked at Remus, puzzled for a moment, and then opened the door more. Seeing her in her lilac night gown, he instantly felt horrible for disturbing her when she was clearly in bed. He decided to make this short and sweet.

"I'm so sorry to disturb you; I see you were in bed. I... I just wanted to say goodbye before I leave. I'm not exactly sure when I'll be back, and... and I didn't want to go without seeing you one last time. One last time before I go, that is," Remus stammered his explanation at her.

Claire softly smiled and said, "you're not disturbing me at all, I was just reading in bed. I had hoped I would see you before you go." She opened the door more and gestured for Remus to enter. He entered her room and felt the breeze of the door shut behind him. He felt awkward being in her private quarters, but at the same time he did not want to ever leave.

Shifting on his feet, he looked at Claire who was gazing back at him expectantly and when his eyes met hers he knew he had to blurt out his feelings or else be tormented until he saw her again, if he did.

"I want you to know that you are very special to me, and I am going to miss you immensely. I fear that I won't see you anymore after this moment, and I adore you to the point where I think I'm in love with you." Remus sighed after he finished his speech, expecting to be turned out of her room at any moment. Cautiously he looked up at Claire, who had a stunned expression on her face.

"I think I love you, too," she softly whispered.

Remus moved towards her as she moved towards him, where they met and kissed sweetly. He held her against him, wanting to be as close to her as possible. Claire clung on to him just as fervently. As their kiss broke apart, he looked into her eyes and saw the same love and the same need and desire that he had. He kissed her again, deeper this time, and she responded just as eagerly. She pushed him back against the door, which he reached behind himself and locked. There was no part of him that planned on leaving her at this moment, no part of him that wanted to leave her, ever. As he backed them towards her bed, their kiss broke apart and she started to unfasten his robes and slid them off of his shoulders. He had one hand on her back, which pressed her against him as he continued to move her towards the bed. The other hand was moved from her neck to her shoulder, as he tried to kiss her again. His fingers played lightly over the soft fabric of her nightgown.

He let his robes fall to the floor and removed the rest of his clothing, Claire followed suit, and backed up onto the bed as Remus quickly joined her. They continued their caresses and physical expressions without a care, except for one moment where Remus saw the bright pink scars on her abdomen from her injuries. Softly he kissed them, and he resolved himself to give her as much pleasure as he could; he wanted to make up for the pain of the injuries. Eventually, they slept, Claire pressed against him by his loving arms. Remus hoped and dreamed that the night never ended and that morning never came.

It did, however, come far too soon.


End file.
